Do you have tension in your home?
The #stayhome lifestyle has definitely affected my family’s interactions.
The fuse is shorter than normal.
In my efforts to be a patient wife and mom, I collected trivial pet peeves in a tightly packed bottle.
They didn’t stay there very long.
One night, I unleashed the pressure-packed irritation bomb on my husband. From the outside looking in, some might say he was asking for it.
He had the nerve to mention that the house was messy and driving him crazy.
I received this tidbit of information in the most personal way I could. And it gave me the permission I needed to explode.
I realized later how completely inappropriate my outburst was.
My husband really should feel freedom to express how he feels right now, whether it’s constructive or not. It’s on me whether or not I take it personally, make it about my success or failure, and then turn it into an opportunity to lash out.
An amazing couple shared this lesson with us when we began foster care training.
They said, “put a q-tip in your pocket. Q.T.I.P. stands for Quit Taking It Personally. You’ll need it in your journey as foster parents.”
That couple had no idea how much we would need the q-tip now, a year later during this covid-19 crisis.
(Side note: Q-tips are terrible for the environment. Thankfully, this life lesson can be applied without actually purchasing a huge box of q-tips.)
Colossians 3 13-15 puts it this way:
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
Now, I’ve made it my daily mindful habit to not take things personally. Shane and I also reinstated our weekly check-in meeting.
It’s a safe environment to sync our schedules, express our needs, and pray together. Since we were all staying home together anyway, we skipped the marriage meeting for a few weeks. This quarantine lesson reminded us just how crucial the marriage meeting is for our relationship.
So that’s how we plan to keep moving forward for the next few weeks: expressing things in small, safe doses and not taking things personally.
I hope the q-tip will help and encourage you too!
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