I bought a cherry-red frisbee for our family the other day. Within 4 minutes of play, the frisbee was stuck on the roof. My kids, overjoyed to test their skills, had overshot the disk and were forced to endure unexpected disappointment the rest of the afternoon.
I feel like the first half of 2021 held as much potential as that bright red frisbee. I was thrilled to jump into a new year with fresh goals and renewed enthusiasm. We would travel again, try new things, stay present with friends and family, build healthy rhythms, and further develop our strengths!
Sadly, many of these attempts turned into an overzealous launching of hopes and dreams onto the rooftop of derailment. While we did travel and enjoy extended family time, we also faced overwhelm in our new normal.
We adopted Giddy in February, a sigh of joyful relief after 2 years of waiting. In the months that followed, I miscarried back-to-back pregnancies. Although both were planned pregnancies, we were still surprised as to how much we wanted to have another baby. The unexpected longing, celebration, and heartache that colored the first 5 months of 2021 had us spinning like that bright-red, out-of-control disk.
We mourned, we grieved, and we pressed through to enjoy the 3 Rosty kids we already have. My computer gathered dust as I tried to gather my wits. Along the way, the freedom and delight I’ve found in writing became another frisbee in the waiting place of unmet expectations.
While I enjoyed the hiatus, I also grumbled a lot about it too. Fingertips to keyboard is where I tend to make sense of my world. Without this platform, I felt stuck and small. Thankfully, God taught me a new way to depend on Him in the chaos of my own emotions. It was a bit of counseling and Bible reading, working out and worship music in solitude, productivity and serving others. It wasn’t polished or profound, but it was healing.
“they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
Or, in my own words…
“those who spend the waiting place in the arms of Jesus will find their hopes soaring high again, spinning with bright colors and potential…”
…or something like that.
Like a satisfying exhale, I have words to share again. These wandering wonders are finally bouncing out upon the keyboard, from my heart to yours.
Just typing this up gives me gumption. It’s high time I hauled out the ladder and get that frisbee down (for the kids, clearly).
Here’s to the rest of 2021! Maybe I’ll keep the ladder handy just in case.
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