Does Mother’s Day feel forced sometimes? I’m all for intentionality in celebrating the important things in life. But that doesn’t mean Mother’s Day has to be happy.
To the moms of littles, teens, or grown-ups: It’s ok to feel what you feel.
This reminder is also for the children of moms everywhere: it’s ok to feel what you feel.
The beauty of Mother’s Day is taking the time to honor that.
For me, this year’s Mother’s Day is full of mixed emotions:
Today, I celebrate my amazing mom, Theresa, who sparked in me big dreams and bigger faith in Jesus.
Also today, I mourn with my mom for the loss of HER mom last summer. We miss you grandma.
Today, I rejoice in the wonder of becoming a mom through adoption—loving and caring for this boy humbles me with deep gratitude.
Also today, my heart is tight with the hurt that his first mom could not hold him, hug him, raise him. She loved him best and most bravely through relinquishment. But that doesn’t change the loss.
Today, I celebrate having 3 gorgeous and fun kids who call me mom. I didn’t know how much I wanted motherhood to be a part of my story.
Also today, I contemplate the loss of two pregnancies from earlier this year. I should have started showing by now. I didn’t think miscarriage would have been a part of my story.
Today, I am filled with the pleasure and gladness of recognizing amazing mom stories like:
- my mother-in-law, Sandy, who raised the man of my dreams,
- my mentor, Lori, who showed me how to flourish while raising PK’s (pastors kids).
- my sister Rachel—whose life says “a mom can have more than one dream, and be gracefully good at both!”
- my sister Hannah— revealed that prioritizing your mom-squad makes the journey more fun!
- my sister-in-law Amber, a Certified nurse midwife and home-birth champion who helps women bring their babies into this world with so much dignity and courage—also an incredible mother to my sweet nieces.
- my sister-in-law Taylor who exemplified a strong backbone of patience, muscular trust in Christ, and step-by-step faith in the trenches to become a mother… I cannot wait to hold Lil Baby John this summer!
To my many friends and faith-sisters who have joined me in this journey of raising the world together, generation by generation—I applaud you. Your stories make me soar with gratitude for what God can do through mother’s!
But also today, I weep with you… my friends and family enduring trials like (all real stories of my real friends from all over the country):
- the mom whose child is in a treatment facility for suicidal thoughts.
- my dearly loved ones regretting an abortion from a moment of unsureness and pain.
- my new friend who is calculating the cost of regaining custody of her kids.
- the mom at my church waiting an eternity to adopt.
- my family members who thought starting a family would be easier, happen sooner, and come more naturally.
- my single mom friends who have to play mom and dad, and don’t have help from a partner to make Mother’s Day special.
- the many women in my life who had miscarriages, this year or years ago. The ache is real, and sometimes really confusing.
- my friends who lost their moms-still-living. Whether to addiction, to estrangement, to dementia, or to mental illness, I recognize the loss can feel unseen.
- the women and girls who are motherless this year because their mothers have passed on—most too soon.
Wherever you find yourself in this motherhood journey, I am with you.
I weep with you, laugh with you, and probably most powerfully, I will take a nap today in honor of you.
Mother’s Day is a LOT to process. Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is take a nice long snooze and trust that Jesus is holding the world together in His very capable hands.
Yes, that’s the ONE thing everyone can do to recognize this special day: let yourself take a nap. May it be the exhale of trust and whisper of gratitude you need to tell yourself and those who love you.
So, instead of “Happy Mother’s Day,” allow me to wish you a “Stay-Present Mother’s Day.”
It’s ok to feel what you feel.
P.S. if this resonated with you, you’ll be happy to know I’m writing a whole book about this Stay-Present Mama stuff. I hope you’ll follow my journey by subscribing here: http://eepurl.com/guMC4H
or follow me @beckyrosty or #staypresentmama