I don’t get it.
- I put on pants.
- I stuck to a routine.
- I chose my attitude.
- I limited social media and watching the news.
- I called my loved ones daily.
- I did ALL THE THINGS they tell you to make the most of social distancing during the COVID-19 crisis.
But it hasn’t been working.
(Watch me play in the mountains with my hubby as I unpack these thoughts on video! Scroll down for the link.)
To be fair, it is a victory worth celebrating that my kids are thriving in virtual school, our home is tidy, and my pajamas are only worn at night.
So why do I feel so underwhelmed? Yet somehow also overwhelmed at the same time?
As a Christian, I cannot find satisfaction in mere determination. If going through the motions would satisfy me, then I would never spend time with Christ.
Jesus said, “I am the vine, you are the branches. The one who remains in Me, and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me.” John 15:5
I’ve been grafting myself into a vine of self-sufficiency. A vine of really good advice from different social media posts. A vine of checking off boxes, hoping to thrive. It’s grasping at straws.
…My vines are straws.
Somehow, this crisis-lifestyle change had me neglecting Jesus.
Thats not true, actually. Every hour I pray and ask Jesus to be with me, to bless my efforts, to make this count.
I realize now, this is only half of the equation for a fruitful, abundant life. It’s not just about having Jesus in us/with us/blessing us. It’s about us being IN HIM (see verse above).
- I need to also ask Jesus what He is doing, and how I can be a part of it, not just the other way around.
- I need to prioritize time in His Word, listening, because this is a relationship, not a to-do list check point.
- I need to bring my real feelings to His feet, without editing them first. That’s where real comfort and perspective can be found.
- I need to quiet my own voice, silence even my own positive thinking, to meditate on His Emmanuel presence.
During this crisis, I’ll keep wearing pants and calling my people and stick with the routine. But I am adding this much-needed change.
Join me this week to abide IN HIM and find the fruitful, satisfying life God designed for us, even in a crisis-lifestyle. He is worth it.